1. When you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.2. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
3. Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
4. Happy hour is a nap.
5. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up
6. The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.
7. You have more patience; but actually, it's just that you don't care any more.
8. You confuse having a clear conscience with having a bad memory.
9. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
10. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
11. Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
12. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
13. It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.
14. You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.
15. You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.
16. Your childhood toys are now in a museum.
17. The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... come back in style.18. All of your favorite movies are now re-released in color.
19. Your back goes out more than you do.
20. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
21. Your best friend is dating someone half their age and isn't breaking any laws.
22. You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
23. Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
24. You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
25. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. Adopted From http://e-jokes.net/oldage/020.htm
