NFL Fantasy Football 2011: Hilarious Ways To Know You’re Addicted!

Everyone loves fantasy football. But what separates an avid follower and a certified addict? Here are eight hilarious ways to know you’re addicted. GridironGrit.com is home to original, insightful, entertaining and thought-provoking news, analysis and more on college football, the NFL, and yes, fantasy football.

Have you ever wondered who Tom Brady would draft with the top pick if he were to play fantasy football? If you have, you’re addicted to fantasy football. Whenever the key word to an addiction is fantasy, it is definitely time to seek help from a professional. Seriously, stop trying to coax your buddy into trading Andre Johnson for Chad Ochocinco and check yourself into a rehab facility. You need help.

In no particular order, here are ways to know you’re addicted to fantasy football.

1. Firstborn - You know you’re an addict if you name your firstborn Adrian Peterson. This is double-trouble if you have a girl and you name her Adriana Peterson. I know that he is a beast for fantasy football, but that doesn’t give you the right to ruin your son or daughter’s life.

2. Hooters - You know you’re an addict when you drag your wife to Hooters just so you can watch as many football games as possible. Hooters is not a family establishment. If you need to watch that many games at the same time to keep tabs on your fantasy players, get NFL Sunday Ticket.

3. “The GM” - You know you’re an addict if you refer to yourself as The GM. First, self imposed nicknames is never a good idea. Second, just because you manage a fantasy football team to victory doesn’t mean you could actually do it in real life. Last time I checked, there is no salary cap in fantasy football.

4. Desk Space - You know you’re an addict when your fantasy football trophy gets more prominent desk space than a picture of your wife and kids. Whenever bragging about your fantasy football accomplishments becomes more important than your family, you need to step back and evaluate your life. No matter how bad the picture is of your family, they should still matter more than a silly trophy. The only exception to this rule is if your trophy includes a picture of your smokin’ hot wife because you were so confident you would win the league. If that is the case, kudos to you.

5. Trading Your Car - You know you’re an addict if you’ve considered trading your Toyota Camry for the first overall draft pick in your fantasy draft. On one side of the scale you have a 1997 Toyota Camry. On the other side of the scale you have the possibility of drafting any player your heart desires. If you just read that and it took you more than three seconds to decide which is of greater value, you’re an addict.

6. Fingers and Toes - You know you’re an addict when you have a larger number of Yahoo! fantasy football teams than the number of fingers and toes combined. One fantasy football team is enough. Two means you are about to fall off the wagon with your addiction. More than ten means that you need to drop everything you are doing and head to the Betty Ford Clinic, or whatever establishment they have for fantasy football addicts. (Adopted From http://gridirongrit.com)

How Do I Help My Dog Lose Weight?

Is your dog fat? An overweight dog is at risk of health problems, so try these dog weight loss tips to help a fat dog lose weight and go on a doggy diet. The first step to helping a fat dog to lose weight is to implement a healthy dog diet. Premium dog foods like Wellness and Hill's Science Diet are dog health foods - an equivalent to human health food products. Premium dog food brands are a bit more expensive, but they're actually a better choice because the dog receives more nutrition without "empty" calories from fillers that are contained in less expensive dog food brands. High-quality brands of dog food enable dog owners to feed smaller portions without losing out in terms of the dog's nutrition.

Weight Loss for Dogs - Exercise and Walks: Frequent dog walks, jogs and even a game of fetch are all great methods to help a dog lose weight by burning calories and speeding up the dog's metabolism. Not only will more frequent dog walks burn extra calories, but the dog will also gain muscle tone and enjoy improved cardiovascular fitness. Exercise also helps promote good behavior in dogs.

Additional Methods and Tips to Help an Overweight Dog Slim Down: In addition to feeding a healthier dog food brand, try these dog feeding methods to help fat dogs lose weight:

• Instead of dog treats, feed healthy foods like carrots, celery or chunks of plain, skinless chicken.
• Feed the dog three or four small meals instead of one or two larger meals. This will jump-start the dog's metabolism, helping with dog weight loss.
• Adding canned pumpkin to the dog's meals is a great way to add fiber to the dog's diet, low calories.
• The dog will be eating smaller portions, so dog vitamins will ensure that the dog receives balanced nutrition.

Adding hot water to the dog's kibble is an effective way to help the dog feel "full" while consuming fewer calories. Add enough hot water to cover the kibble and wait approximately 10 minutes. This also helps to prevent upset stomach, as the kibble expands before the dog eats, instead of after the kibble has arrived in the dog's stomach. Adopted from http://www.suite101.com

Recipe Of The Month: Boilermaker Tailgate Chili

Ingredients:

• 2 pounds ground beef chuck
• 1 pound bulk Italian sausage
• 3 (15 ounce) cans chili beans, drained
• 1 (15 ounce) can chili beans in spicy sauce
• 2 (28 ounce) cans diced tomatoes with juice
• 1 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
• 1 large yellow onion, chopped
• 3 stalks celery, chopped
• 1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped
• 1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped
• 2 green chile peppers, seeded and chopped
• 1 tablespoon bacon bits
• 4 cubes beef bouillon
• 1/2 cup beer
• 1/4 cup chili powder
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic
• 1 tablespoon dried oregano
• 2 teaspoons ground cumin
• 2 teaspoons hot pepper sauce (e.g. Tabasco™)
• 1 teaspoon dried basil
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1 teaspoon paprika
• 1 teaspoon white sugar
• 1 (10.5 ounce) bag corn chips such as Fritos®
• 1 (8 ounce) package shredded Cheddar cheese

Directions

1. Heat a large stock pot over medium-high heat. Crumble the ground chuck and sausage into the hot pan, and cook until evenly browned. Drain off excess grease.

2. Pour in the chili beans, spicy chili beans, diced tomatoes and tomato paste. Add the onion, celery, green and red bell peppers, chile peppers, bacon bits, bouillon, and beer. Season with chili powder, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, oregano, cumin, hot pepper sauce, basil, salt, pepper, cayenne, paprika, and sugar. Stir to blend, then cover and simmer over low heat for at least 2 hours, stirring occasionally.

3. After 2 hours, taste, and adjust salt, pepper, and chili powder if necessary. The longer the chili simmers, the better it will taste. Remove from heat and serve, or refrigerate, and serve the next day.

To serve, ladle into bowls, and top with corn chips and shredded Cheddar cheese. Adopted From allrecipes.com

Monthly Stress Reducer - Money...

There was a man who worked all of his life and saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!"

She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."

"Yes," the wife said, "I promised. I'm a good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"

"I sure did. I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check." Adopted from http://www.onlyfunnystories.com/Money.asp

Tips for Easy Weight Loss

You know you are experiencing yo-yo dieting, but do not know how to stop it! It is time to get your balance back. The following easy weight loss tips will help you lose weight in a healthy way.(Adopted from www.healthcastle.com)

• Eat at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables per day - Fruits and vegetables are packed with beneficial fibers, vitamins and antioxidants. They fill up your stomach fast so you feel full earlier. They are also low in calories and helps to keep your calorie count low.
• Watch for Portion Size - One serving of pasta means 1/2 cup of cooked pasta. However, most restaurants serve a pasta dish with 4 servings of pasta!!! You do not need to finish and clean off the plate every time. You can simply ask to take home the leftover.
• Do not Skip Meals - Eating small frequent meals help to balance your calorie intake throughout the day and also keeps your blood sugar level balanced. Instead of eating 3 big meals, try to eat 5 - 6 smaller meals throughout the day.
• Go for wholesome fresh foods - If possible, purchase fresh foods and avoid package (processed) and convenient foods such as fast food. Packaged and convenient foods are often higher in sodium and fat content. Many people we spoke to are amazed that they can easily lose weight by packing a home-cooked lunch to work instead of eating out.
• Don't be overly-restrictive - Everyone has his or her favorite treats. Simply allow yourself a little indulgence, but watch out for the frequency and the quantity. Having a small treat once in a while can be rewarding to your weight loss experience. Cutting too much of your favorite treats usually lead to an early relapse.
• Exercise, period - Most authorities recommend 30 - 60 minutes of physical activity a day to stay healthy. Also try adding weight-bearing exercises at least 2 times a week. This will help burn some of the unwanted calories.

How to Find a Hobby?

We're happiest when our world includes both productive work and enjoyable play. Luckily, we live in a time when intriguing and exciting hobbies abound.

Collect Something

• Ramble through flea markets and find antiques.
• Trade baseball cards or comic books.
• Gather a family of dolls.
• Buy, sell and trade die-cast collectibles.
• Seek out Beanie Babies and teddy bears.
• Accumulate rare coins and stamps.
• Search for arrowheads and other historical memorabilia.
• Indulge in kitsch - matchbooks, ashtrays, beer bottles, snow globes.
• Go for Americana originals - Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Howdy Doody, Roy Rogers, Star Wars, Star Trek or Precious Moments collectibles.
• Acquire antique toys - lead soldiers, rag dolls, old bicycles and wagons.
• Find and refurbish old record players and Victrolas, along with 45 rpm and 78 rpm recordings.

Do or Make Something

• Go for an adrenaline rush - scuba dive, sky dive, rock climb.
• Stay healthy - play tennis or golf; join a basketball, softball or volleyball league; bicycle or roller blade.
• Seek out the wilderness - hike and camp, hunt or fish, pan for gold.
• Build a perfect garden.
• Take a course at a local college or university.
• Raise, train, and show cats, dogs or horses.
• Create a wild world in an aviary or aquarium.
• Treasure hunt with a metal detector.
• Study for an amateur radio license.
• Dance - swing, jive, two-step, mambo, line or square dance.
• Volunteer - as a youth group leader, in your church or synagogue, to help charities, to participate in community projects with Habitat for Humanity.
• Travel and tour, by car, RV, or motorcycle.
• Create art - take photographs, learn to paint, draw, sculpt.
• Get a buzz from beekeeping.
• Join a local acting troupe.
• Craft ceramic or rag dolls.
• Make dollhouses.
• Build a village around a model train layout.
• Construct furniture and do woodworking.
• Learn to make stained glass windows and figures.
• Learn to make candles.
• Turn mud into practical and beautiful pottery.
• Indulge nostalgia and imagination by making models of cars, ships or airplanes.
• Learn to brew beer or make wine.
• Take up gourmet cooking.
• Paint - watercolors, oil, acrylics.
• Quilt, needlepoint, crochet or knit.
• Grow prize-winning roses.
• Restore a classic car or build a hot rod.
• Cut and polish semiprecious gemstones.

Watch Something

• Indulge yourself with tickets for big-time stick and ball sports.
• Follow less-recognized sporting events, attending and supporting local schools and colleges.
• Take in exciting car and boat racing, both at local tracks and national events.
• Follow horse and dog racing.
• Become a film buff.
• Get in touch with the natural world by bird-watching or beachcombing.
• Feed your spirit by attending musical and cultural events. Adopted from eHow.com