The Greatest Advice on Life, Love and Success from our Mothers!

Growing up, our moms always gave us advice on dating, school, friends and life in general. We may not have always listened to or taken her counsel but now, when we’re a little older, it’s easier to see how wise she really is. In honor of Mother’s Day, Savvy Miss readers, and savvy moms, are sharing pearls of wisdom on life, love and success.

Life.

The best advice my mom ever gave me is to do one thing that scares me everyday. I owe all of my most fulfilling life experiences to this advice. —Stephanie, 24

I always look to my mom's example of compassion, even to the point of putting others before herself, as well as her role as my shopping partner, always telling me it's okay to buy that dress or that purse. My mother understands the importance of being selfless when others need her, but also remembers the little pleasures that everyone deserves. —Zaynah, 24

Treat people how you would want to be treated. —Heather, 20

Don't walk through a chicken coop bare-footed. —Lesli, 41

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Just wait 'til you have children of your own! And last, but not least: Keep touching yourself there and you'll go blind. —Bree, 58

My mom taught my sister and I to always, always say “thank you”—be appreciative of the things you have and what people do for you. —Nikki, 24

MOTHER your own self. Instead of listening to what the world wants of you, i.e. to be a sweet, passive, deferring, pleasing, silent, "good girl," listen to the wise woman inside of you. Give yourself permission to say no. If you are too tired, don't do it. If you are not ready, say so. If you feel you "should" go but don't want to…re-examine the whole thing. —Susan, 59

Love.

My mother on dating: Taste different kinds of plates. —Delilah, 27

You can never say “I Love You” too many times. —Breanne, 14

If you’re not happy with yourself then the other people around you are not going to be happy. Good things happen to good people. I always trust people until they give me a reason not to. I always try to forgive somebody at least once. You can’t trust people unless you are trustworthy. —Kimberley, 44

The best advice is to never let someone drive off without saying “I love you”. Even if you're mad, sad, broke, aggravated, anything, always say “I love you”. You can't say it too much. —Pam, 49 (Pam’s husband died in a car accident—so this advice is as heartfelt and sincere as it gets; you never know when that person you love won't come back home.)

Don’t cry over anything that can’t cry over you. —Jennifer

When it comes to having a successful relationship, having trust is the most important thing. You will never be able to change someone. They have to be willing to change themselves. —Ann, 24

Success.

My mom has always told me to find a career I am passionate about; she set a great example. I am in law school now and I couldn't be happier, thanks to my mom—best advice. —Jalayne, 24

I tell Ricky, who's 10, to find what he loves and follow his heart. But he's also reminded that he has to work hard. Passion will only get him so far. He has to have the work ethic to follow through and make it happen. My mom never told me to work hard, but she showed me through how hard she worked. —Kimiko, 29

Make wise decisions that you can live with because you may just have to! —Linda, 57

Just remember no one is better than you....and you should never feel you are any better than anyone else. —Glenn, 56

See moms, we really were paying attention. Happy Mother’s Day and thanks for all of your words of wisdom!

– Adapted from http://www.ladypens.com

Recipe Of The Month - Poppy Seed Bread

Here’s The Easy Breakfast Recipe I Promised. - Poppy Seed Bread

• 1 package yellow cake mix


• 1 package instant coconut cream pudding


• 1 cup hot water


• 1/2 cup oil


• 4 eggs


• 1/4 cup poppy seed

Put all of the above ingredients in a large bowl. Mix all of the ingredients together with an electric mixer on low speed for 4 minutes. Pour the mixture evenly into two bread pans and bake at 350 degrees for about 40 minutes. (A toothpick inserted in the center should come out clean.) Allow the bread to cool for about 30 minutes (it should be just slightly warm to the touch) and then carefully take a table knife and run it around the edge of the pan. Using the table knife or your fingers, gently loosen the bread from the bottom of the pan. Turn the pan upside down over a plate. The bread should slide out. If it doesn’t, gently tap the bottom of the pan to loosen it. Turn the bread right side up, slice it up and you are ready to serve it to mom.

Front Yard Landscaping Ideas

Your front yard doesn't have to be a typical patch of grass, mailbox, and garden flag. There are endless front yard landscaping ideas that will create an attractive and unique front yard. With a little creative thinking, you can have a front yard that everyone in the neighborhood will talk about.


Front Yard Landscaping Idea One: Create Outdoor Rooms

Many landscapers sell the idea of creating outdoor rooms in your backyard, but this landscaping idea can also be applied to the front yard. A separate sitting space adds beauty and functionality to the front yard. Place a bench under a tree. Fill in the surrounding area with different types of flowers and shrubs, and add a few potted plants next to your bench. A new sitting area in your front yard creates a wonderful place to visit with neighbors, observe the daily happenings on your street or even watch the kids while they play.

Front Yard Landscaping Idea Two: Create Visually Pleasing Displays

Make your front yard a fun place to be by adding lots of visually stimulating objects. A bird house or birdbath will attract lots of interesting wildlife to your yard. Planting shrubs and flowers that attract butterflies is a great way to bring these gorgeous insects to your front yard. Try to partner your non-plant items with compatible foliage and fauna. For example, if you place a birdbath in your front yard, plant a colorful array of flowers around the base.
Add variety to your yard with containers. Place big tubs or planters of flowers on your front porch, along your driveway, or even on your lawn. If you get tired of the containers in one place, they are easy to move or replant.

Front Yard Landscaping Idea Three: Mix Perennials And Annuals

Perennials are one of the easiest ways to landscape your yard. They bloom year after year, making them an inexpensive way to add to your landscape, and they are relatively maintenance free. Perennials tend to bloom in succession, so you always have something blooming in your yard. Annuals give a continuous burst of color in your front yard, but they only last one season. They are wonderful for people who like to try new things each year, and give their yard a different look. A mix of perennials and annuals in your front yard is best of both worlds.
– Adapted from http://EzineArticles.com

Dealing With Power Struggles

Most parents first experience their child's attempts at autonomy at about age two. They feel challenged and often a battle of wills begins that lasts throughout childhood and the teen years. Parents can turn these trying times into a rewarding growth period for them and their children by shifting their perspective concerning the child's behavior and by becoming clever and creative in responding to the child's perceived "headstrong, rebellious, stubborn, frustrating, negative" behavior.

Empowering not Overpowering

Instead of viewing children's willful behavior as "bad" and reacting in a way that overpowers the child, parents can view this behavior as a healthy positive sign of their child's development and find ways to empower the child. From about the age of two, and at differing intervals in the developmental process, children are individuating from their parents and the world around them. This includes making decisions for themselves, exerting their power and will on persons and situations, getting their own way, declaring ownership and authority.

When parents react by overpowering children, they cause them to feel powerless. Since all humans strive to feel powerful, the overpowered child may react to his or her feelings of powerlessness by either fight or flight - either giving in and letting others make all the decisions and maintain all control or fighting to seek power through rebellious and destructive behaviors. Parents who can shift to seeing their child's struggle for power as a positive sign can find useful ways for the child to feel powerful and valuable and deal with power struggles in ways that reduce fighting and create cooperative relationships that empower both the child and the parents.

The First Step is to Side-Step

The first step to effectively and positively deal with power struggles is to side-step the power struggle - in other words, refuse to pick up the other end of the rope. A mother asked her two-year-old if she was ready for a nap. "NO" replied the child. Feeling challenged, the mother replied, "Do you want to walk to your bed or do you want me to carry you?" "I want you to carry me upside down and tickle me as we go."

The mother realized that the "no" was an invitation to join a power struggle and by side-stepping it (neither fighting nor giving in) the mother created an ending that was happy, nurturing and loving rather than hateful and painful as nap time can often be. By side-stepping the power struggle, you send your child the message "I am not going to fight with you. I am not going to hurt you. I am not going to overpower you and I'm not going to give in, either."

Choices, Not Orders

After side-stepping the power struggle, the next step is to give choices, not orders. A father, trying to change an 18-month-olds diaper, against the wishes of the child, offered the child a choice of which room to have the change made. The child choose a room, but once in the room, balked again at the diaper change. The father continued with his plan to empower the child and asked, "Which bed?" The child pointed to a bed, the diaper was changed and the ongoing power struggle about diaper changes was ended.

When giving children choices, parents must be sure that all choices are acceptable. Don't give your child the choice of either sitting down quietly or leaving the restaurant if you have no intention of leaving.

Also be sure you don't give too many "autocratic" choices. Autocratic choices are choices are choices that are so narrow the child senses no freedom at all. Young children benefit from having some choices narrowed, but try to give broad and open-ended choices whenever possible.
Choices should not represent a punishment as one alternative. For example, telling a child "You may either pick up the toys or take a time-out" creates fear and intimidation instead of empowerment.

Find Useful Ways for your Child to be Powerful

Whenever you find yourself in the middle of a power struggle with your child, ask yourself, "How can I give my child more power in this situation?" One mother asked herself this question concerning an endless battle she was having with her son about buckling his seat belt. Her solution was that she made him boss of the seat belts - it became his job to see that everyone was safely secured. The power struggle ended.

Do the Unexpected

One parent side-steps power struggles by announcing "let’s go out for a treat" when she feels the situation is headed for a showdown. Her purpose is not to "reward" bad behavior, but to reestablish her relationship with her children and keep her end goal of a close, loving and cooperative atmosphere in mind.

Getting to Win-Win

Power struggles often feel like someone has to win and someone has to lose. A win-win solution is where each party comes away feeling like they got what they wanted. Getting to win-win takes negotiation. Parents can assist their children by responding to a child’s demands, "That sounds like a good way for you to win. And I want you to win. But I want to win, too. Can you think of a solution that works for both of us?"

Handling "NO"

Parents often have the attitude that children should not say NO to or question authority. However, it is interesting that most of us parents buy into the media campaign of "Just Say No." It is best to hear a child’s NO as a disagreement rather than a disrespectful response. Teach children to say NO, or disagree, respectfully and appropriately. Keep in mind that you want them to say NO when faced with peer pressure and inappropriate situations.

Powerlessness Creates Revenge

Children who are overpowered, or who feel powerless, will often seek to gain power through revenge. They will seek to hurt others as they feel hurt and will often engage in behavior that ultimately hurts themselves. Revenge at age two and three looks like talking back and messy food spills. Revenge at age 16 or 17 looks like drug and alcohol abuse, pregnancy, failure, running away and suicide.

When children act out in power struggles and revengeful behavior, they are most often feeling powerless and discouraged about a positive way to contribute and know that their actions count. Most parents’ goals are to raise a child who becomes a self-reliant adult, can make good decisions and has the confidence to be whatever he or she chooses. Your child will see the future that future more clearly if you allow him or her to practice at being powerful in useful and appropriate ways. - by Karan Sims

Organize Any Room in Your House With the Five-Boxes Technique

Wish you could find more time in the day? Feel so overwhelmed that you don't think you even have time to stop and organize? You're not alone. Consider these statistics:

• More than 60 percent of American families would like to eat breakfast together more often, according to a survey by Roper Starch Worldwide. Only 11 percent eat breakfast together daily.


• In a Wall Street Journal/NBC News survey, 59 percent of Americans described their lives as busy.


• Forty percent of Americans don't feel that they have enough time to make calls for the information they need, according to Bellcore.
  

Disorganization is a huge time-waster for many people. Daniel Rubenstein, an organizational consultant, estimates that it takes the average professional 36 minutes a day to find things in the office. Multiply that by a person's hourly salary, and an organization can spend thousands of dollars a year on disorganization.

Take an opportunity to step back and evaluate where you can organize your life. Kitchen? Basement? Attic? Bedroom? It takes time to make time!

Try to tackle a single one-hour organizing project each weekend. Don't attempt a huge task, such as the entire bedroom. Break the project down into manageable bite-sized chunks. For example, you could organize the top of the closet one weekend, your clothes another, your dresser another, under the bed next, etc. Schedule a one-hour de-clutter assault on your calendar every weekend so you don't procrastinate or schedule over it.

When it's time to begin your organizing task, don't simply take everything out of the area, throw it on the floor and try to put it away one piece at a time. You will run out of time and steam and shove everything back in again, only to be more disorganized than before. To avoid having an area that's half-organized, follow this simple technique. The five-boxes method helps you systematically de-clutter an area (drawer, shelf, cabinet, closet, box, room). Get five sturdy boxes. Label them:

• Put Away - items that are out of place and should be put away


• Give Away - items that are in good repair that you no longer want, need or use and that you can give to charity, sell or swap


• Store - items that are going to be used again in a reasonable amount of time but that you don't use on a regular basis


• Toss - items that are broken, old, worn or in need of repair


• Belongs here - items that will go back into the room, drawer, closet or cabinet you're organizing
  

Then take one item out at a time and put it into the appropriate box. If you're going to organize for one hour, set an egg timer for 50 minutes. When it buzzes, use the last few minutes of your organizing session to put items away, put the charity items in the car, throw out the trash or put boxes into storage. The time investment made in getting organized will repay you over and over in reduced stress, decreased frustration and more time to spend with friends and family.

Make it a productive day!

- Adapted from Revolution Health Group

Garage Sale Tips

Garage sale is not an easy event to organize. Take it seriously; if you really want to make some money. Garage sale is not just "a way to get rid of old junk". You can make good money out of it, if you do it right. This guide will help you with garage sale organization. Here are a few garage sale tips to make you garage sale or yard sale more successful and more fun:

Stay organized. Start preparing several days before the actual sale day. Do not procrastinate.

Find stuff that you do not want or will never use several weeks before the garage sale. Put it aside. If you didn't use it before the actual sale, you most likely won't need it in future.

Be sure to post an advertisement in your local newspaper. That will draw many potential customers to your sale!

Advertise online. Submit your garage sale or yard sale to our large and expanding database. It's free!

Make sure to make quality and visible garage sale signs. How many times did you see garage sale signs with blue pen writing over brown cardboard pizza box? Your potential customers must be able to read it from a glance. Do not forget to remove the signs at the end of the sale!!!

Prepare many plastic bags. Be sure that customers will ask you whether "you have something to put this in." Used grocery bags will do just fine.

Have some drinks and snacks handy in case you get hungry. You don't want to leave your valuable stuff while you are away to drink.

The day of the sale get lot's of change. Many customers will pay with $10 and even $20 bills for $1 items. If you go to a near-by store and ask them for $40 worth of change, they might not give it to you. The best way to get change — go to your local bank. They always have change.

Put on some background music during the sale. Local radio station would suit the best. Don't play it too loud, or you won't hear your customers.

Do not ever lie to a customer. Lies can stain you forever. If you sell something that doesn't work or it's not what you described it was, the rumour will spread and you can only imagine the consequences. – Adapted from http://www.garagesalesource.com

Did Mom Say That???

Here are a few things we bet your mother never said.

• “How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”


• “Sure, I used to skip school a lot, too.”


• “Just leave all the lights on...it makes the house look more cheery.”


• “Let me smell that shirt – yes, it’s good for another week.”


• “Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day.”


• “Well, if Timmy’s mom says it’s OK, that’s good enough for me.”


• “The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.”
  
• “I don’t have a tissue with me...just use your sleeve.”


• “Don’t bother wearing a jacket – the weather is bound to improve.”