Selection of Funny Thanksgiving Stories

Turkey Tight End?

A professional NFL team, the Philadelphia Eagles, had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded to be given a chance to play at tight end.
Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, 'You're superb. Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus.' 'Forget the bonus,' replied the turkey, 'What I want to know is, does your season go past Thanksgiving Day?'
What Your Are Thankful For?
A little girl was told by her teacher to write an essay about why she was thankful, and what she was thankful for on Thanksgiving. Upon reading it, her teacher burst out in laughter. The title: "I'm really glad I'm not a turkey."

Family Together At The Holidays

A man in Tampa calls his daughter Sue in California before Thanksgiving and announces to her that he and his wife are getting a divorce after fifty years of marriage. "What? You can't do that!" exclaimed the daughter. "Yes, we can't stand each other. Irreconcilable differences and all. We really hate even seeing the other. We're glad to be done and I don't want to talk about it. Please let your sister and brother know since I don't want to talk about it any more." The daughter frantically calls her sister and brother, both of whom also explode and vow that their parents won't be getting a divorce now. Sue calls back her father and tells him "There's no way you're getting divorced. We're coming there tomorrow to sort this thing out. Don't do or say anything to mom before we get there." As she hangs up the phone, her father turns to her mother and says, "Okay, they're all coming for Thanksgiving and we don't even have to spend a dime."

Those Ancestors!

The Taylor's were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had travelled to America with the Pilgrim Fathers on the Mayflower. They had included Congressmen, successful entrepreneurs, famous sports people and television stars.
They decided to research and write a family history, something for their children and grandchildren. They found a specialist genealogist and writer to help them. Only one problem arose - how to handle Great Uncle Jefferson Taylor who was executed in the electric chair.
The writer said she could handle the story tactfully. When the book appeared the section about Jefferson read:
— Great Uncle Jefferson Taylor occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, he was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock. Adopted from www.suite101.com

Socializing an Adult or Older Dog with Other Dogs

Dogs in the wild grow up in packs and they are socialized almost from birth. A dog becomes socialized by interacting with other canines and learning their verbal cues and body language. The boundaries in the pack are very clear and each pup learns to understand their elders or get thrown out.

Domestic dogs also begin socialization in their litter and when they come into a human family, socialization with humans begin. The initial socialization period of a dog is four to 12 weeks. It is during this time that social skills are imprinted on them and their interaction with other dogs and humans is, hopefully, positive. The socialization then should continue into adulthood. But many dog owners choose to adopt older dogs who sometimes were not socialized during this time.

When a dog owner brings an adult dog into their home, it's important to find out early on how socialized he is. His initial interaction with you will be telling - is he fearful or aggressive? Does he back away when you approach or send warning signals such as raised hackles? When you take him on walks, is he nervous around different sounds and sights? Does he shy away from people or other dogs? If you see any of these signs, it's likely he was not socialized well in his early days. But there are several things you can do to socialize your adult dog with other dogs and humans.
Socializing an Adult or Older Dog with Other Dogs

Take Your Dog Out to Observe

Go to a dog park but don't go in. Allow your dog to watch the other pups and observe their behavior. Everytime a dog comes near the fence, give your dog a treat. This creates a positive association with other dogs. If your dog reacts aggressively towards the dogs in the park, move further away and slowly move up until he is quiet.

Resist Tugging While Walking

When out walking and another dog comes into view, resist jerking on the lead and yelling at your dog. This reinforces seeing other dogs as a negative experience. Instead, distract your dog with a treat or toy, use the command "Watch me!" and praise him when he pays attention to you.

Go to Obedience Class

This is a great way to help socialize an adult dog before attempting going into dog parks or having playdates. Because your dog is learning commands, he is distracted most of the time. Speak to your trainer about the issue and she can help you introduce your dog slowly to other dogs in the class. This is also a safe place for your dog to learn to interact with other humans.

Socializing an Adult Dog with Humans

The first step is to socialize your dog with your family. This is best done slowly and patience is a virtue here. Dogs and humans speak a different language so you'll both be learning how to communicate.

Ignore Your Dog

When your dog runs to hide from you, don't go after him and pull him from under the bed. Ignore him and do something that will persuade him to come out like playing with his toys or frying up some bacon. Dogs are curious and social creatures and they'll eventually become bored and lonely by themselves. Reward him with a bit of that bacon when he comes out.

Be Casual

It's sort of like when your teenager comes down the stairs with an enormous pimple on her forehead. You don't mention it and act as if there's nothing wrong. By acting as if your dog's behavior is no big deal, you're creating a calmer environment and, thus, a calmer dog. So when he streaks under your legs because the postman is at the door, go on about your business as usual.

Introduce People Slowly

Only add one person a week at the most into your dog's life. When they meet your dog, have them offer a treat and speak in a happy, low, encouraging voice. You don't want to use a high pitch which could excite him. Keep your dog on a leash at first but do not force him to go near the person. Let him take his time.

The main thing to remember when socializing an adult dog is to be positive and to make each new experience a good one with praise and treats. Corrections do not work well here and will likely will create a more nervous dog. In time, your new companion will become at ease at home and in public and will truly be a member of the family. Adopted From

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