Actual Newspaper Headlines

• Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

• Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
• Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
• New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
• Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
• Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
• Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
• Miners Refuse to Work after Death
• Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
• If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
• Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
• Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
• Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
• Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
• Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
• Include your Children when Baking Cookies
• War Dims Hope for Peace
• British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
• Eye Drops off Shelf
• Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
• Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
• Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
• Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
• Stolen Painting Found by Tree
• Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
• Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
• Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in 84
• Steals Clock, Faces Time
• Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
• Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
• Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
• British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
• Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
• Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
• Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
• Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
• Air Head Fired
• Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
• Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
• Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
• Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
• War Dims Hope for Peace
• British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
• Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
• Steals Clock, Faces Time
• Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
• Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
• Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
• Air Head Fired
• British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
• Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
• Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
• Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
• Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
• Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board