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- Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
- I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
- Life not only begins at forty, it also begins to show.
- Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
- A day without sunshine is like night.
- Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
- In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
- Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
- An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
- There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.
- If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
- It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
- The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
- Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
- Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
- You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing
- What happens to a man is less significant than what happens within him. (Adopted From http://www.emmitsburg.net/humor)
