Resolutions for pre-schoolers:
1. It does not matter if my socks go on before my underwear. I can be flexible. I can even not have the stitch line on the top of my socks align perfectly across my foot.
2. Zits on teenagers are not to be commented on in any way, as I understand that "my time will come."
3. I need to accept that I am not the boss -- not even of me.
4. The size of Mommy's bottom is not something that should be discussed in public, or ever.
5. I will not add my personal artistic flair to pieces of artwork already created by my six-year-old sister, even though anyone can tell it adds complexity and drama.
Resolutions for primary school age:
1. I need to recognize that when Mommy's face turns red and she starts a sentence with "What did I just say?" that any activity I am involved in needs to cease immediately.
2. I must recognize that parents are not aware that a bouncy ball must be bounced a minimum of 1,147 times in a row before the urge passes.
3. Calling my 12-year-old brother by his babyish nickname, "Panda Bear" for example, is both unnecessary and pain-inducing when said "bear's" friends are in his den.
Resolutions for tweens:
1. If I insist on playing my AC/DC, Aerosmith or Ozzy Osbourne CD's loudly the ‘rents are likely to sing along and play air guitar (shudder). Investing in headphones is a good use of my allowance money.
2. I need to find an alternative responses to replace the following: "whatever," "then don't look at it" and "oh, you're cool, Mom." Total silence is an option.
3. My parents think it is funny to kid me about boyfriends/girlfriends. I need to humor them, as when the day actually comes that I have one, the joke will be on them.
Resolutions for teens:
1. I will try to show at least one square foot of clean carpet in my bedroom, at all times, as evidence that I am working on it.
2. Although I know everything, it is apparently increasingly annoying to my parents to point this out on a regular basis. Purported "things I don't know" are not worth knowing but comments to support this argument are best kept to myself.
3. Excessive eye rolling can be hazardous to my health. Not to my eyes per se, but to my social life and so-called "privileges." I will practice steadying my eye movement in the mirror while repeating Mom-isms in my head (for example, "I just know," "I did warn you" and "because your brother is three"). (Adopted From http://www.canadianliving.com/relationships)
