Double the fun of Dad's special day with our funny Father's Day jokes! Pass our funniest fatherhood submissions on to a dad in your life and share the priceless gift of laughter!The Right Choice My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father's Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed to find only two cards left on a picked-over rack. Selecting one, he brought it home and, somewhat sheepishly, presented it to our father.
Upon opening it, Dad read this message: "You've been like a father to me." He looked at Ryan, puzzled. "Well, Dad," Ryan tried to explain, "it was either that or the card that said, 'Now that I'm a father too!'" -- Submitted by Anne Carlson
Watch the Wash, Dad… I decided to make myself useful and do a load of the family laundry. When I took the clothes out of the machine, I discovered -- to my dismay -- that I had also washed the watch my wife had given me while we were dating. "Don't expect me to replace it," she said later with an obvious lack of sympathy. By the time Father's Day rolled around, however, she had relented and gave me a beautiful new watch. Attached was a note with this stipulation: "DRY-CLEAN ONLY!" -- Submitted by Paul Diblasi
Papa Bear My husband's cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. They bought their four-year-old son two stuffed bears -- one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine garb. When the boy seemed confused, his father brought out a picture of himself in full Marine dress. "See, Connor?" he explained, pointing to the photo and then to the bear. "That's Daddy."
Connor's eyes went from one to the other, and then he asked in a puzzled voice, "You used to be a bear?" -- Submitted by Robin Yedlock
Pop Vs. Pup While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Mom couldn't help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, "Now remember -- run to Dad first, then the dog."-- Submitted by Karla J. Kasper
No. 1 on Our List -- Literally! My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.
Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers. -- Submitted by Joan Flood
Say What, Dad? Our Gen-X daughter, Christie, made my husband a Father's Day card entitled "Things My Dad Would Never Say." Such as: "Can you turn up that music?"; "Go ahead and take my truck. Here's 50 bucks for gas."; "I LOVE your tattoo. We should both get new ones." "Here, you take the remote." -- Submitted by Deanna Schneider. Adopted From http://www.rd.com
